18.14 Talking To a Friend About Disordered Eating

Before Initiating a Conversation About Disordered Eating

If you’ve decided to speak with someone you know about disordered eating, do your research to better understand the signs; this may include reaching out to available resources yourself to ask questions or learn more about how to broach the subject. Here are some ideas to help guide the conversation:

• Consider including others who share your concern
• Keep the discussion informal and confidential
• Focus on what you’ve observed and why that concerns you
• Focus on the person’s health, not on weight or appearance
• Let the person know this is not coming from a place of judgment
• Avoid using labels, diagnoses, or other conclusive language like, “You look too thin” or “I think you have [this specific eating disorder].”
• LISTEN
• Find out what other things are going on in the person’s life
• Ask what you can do to help
• Encourage the individual to seek professional help

In addition, having a list of local or easily accessible resources handy when you start the conversation will allow you to offer this support more seamlessly.

Throughout the conversation, remember:

• You are not a professional and will not be able to fix the situation; however, you can offer resources and support.
• The conversation may not go as you plan or hope; people with eating disorders and disordered eating often deny that their behavior is problematic, so don’t take rejection personally.

Try to end the conversation in a way that will allow you to come back to the subject at another time.

Expert Perspectives: What to Do If You Think Someone You Care about Might Have an Eating Disorder

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