Write whatever you need to hear. A woman who is always too busy added a permission to an affirmation. She changed, “You can be interested in everything” to, “You can be interested in everything, and you don’t have to do everything.” Just be sure to keep your affirmations positive with no “buts” or “ifs” or “whens.”

You can think for yourself and get help instead of staying in distress.
Structure — Stage 5

*

DIGGING DEEPER: learn more about “if,” “but,” and “when.”

Developmental Affirmations are unconditional. There are no strings attached.

The words “if,” “but,” and “when” make a message conditional. They have price tags. For example: “I love you” is an affirmation. “I love you, but I wish you would behave as well as your sister,” is not.

“I like your smile,” is an affirmation.

“I like you if you smile at me,” is not.

“I love you just the way you are,” is an affirmation.

“I love you when you are good,” is not.

Make the affirmations you create positive, possible, reasonable and doable. One person announced, “I have a new affirmation. Money falls on me when I am awake and when I am sleeping.” Reasonable? No. Doable? Hardly. This is not an affirmation; it is a wish. Affirmations are strength-building messages you give to yourself or offer to other people. Remember, they are always about what to do, not about what not to do. For example, “I am practicing becoming more patient” is a reminder affirmation to yourself. “I will stop being so impatient” is not, because an affirmation doesn’t tell you what to do.