12 When do you not offer Developmental Affirmations?

Don’t give an affirmation to someone else at a moment when you are angry or when you yourself don’t feel and believe it. If you do give one that you don’t believe, people may pick up the conflict in it and feel confused or mistrustful, instead of affirmed. Don’t offer a message with a “but,” “if,” or “when.” “I love you when you are helpful” is a condition, not an affirmation. It implies that “I love you when you are helpful, but I don’t love you when you are not helpful.” Don’t quote an Affirmation to others when you are upset. Shouting “I love who you are” in anger sends a very mixed and confusing message.

I’m glad you are starting to think for yourself.

Thinking — Stage 3


Digging Deeper: take care-of-yourself message.

If you aren’t comfortable giving some of these messages to your children, decide if they would be beneficial. If so, do what you need to do for yourself. Get help, rest, education, coaching, or counseling. Do whatever will help you grow, so that you can affirm with comfort and confidence.


Words that Help: Affirmations for any age, every stage Copyright © by Jean Illsley Clarke, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.


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